So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it was like eating out sand paper
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What drink are we having for lunch?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
