dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
