If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
