and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize