"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
