He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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