You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
