i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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