I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I could have mohawked her pubes.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
