Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
