Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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