what day is it and did you see me today?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize