Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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