You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
