I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
