you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
