Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
