I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
