Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
