I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
