I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
