well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
