so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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