I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
