He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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