This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
