Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize