If i come over, it means nothing
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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