after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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