So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
