I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
