Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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