that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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