The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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