quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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