he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
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I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
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