dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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