omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
this boner is exhausting
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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