bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
