No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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