it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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