I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
