you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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