her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
