You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
