hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
