About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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