when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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