yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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