I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
