I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
