Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
