This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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