He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
