wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
