Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
