is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
