Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
