Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
