I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
