but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
