you guys were way drunker than both of me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
