I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
