i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
